Newflash: Marriage is suuuuuuper traditional; deal with it.

Marriage has been around for a long time. It actually predates reliable recorded history thank you Wikipedia. That is how old it is. It is a tradition. It is a tradition rooted in patriarchy and religion (specifically, in the patriarchal nature of organized religion). Everyone knows this. So can married/soon-to-be married people writing on the internet please spare me these bullshit modifiers about how THEIR wedding isn’t “traditional” because they eloped/got married in a barn/got drunk/had a total DIY wedding? Seriously, just stop. You are participating in a historically patriarchal, religious institution that is on its last legs. You can dress that up however you want, but at the end of the day, getting married is a very traditional act. DEAL WITH IT.

The catalyst for this post was this line (why do I read xoJane? Ughhhh): “Ed and I are not really traditional people.” This type of language comes up in basically every conversation that any soon-to-be-married person has, ever. It’s super ridiculous. Like, oh, I’m sure YOUR wedding will be completely different from the billions of other weddings that have taken place since like 10 CE because of your paper flowers or cowboy boots or whatever. Nooooooope.

I hate to rain on your wedding, but if you are getting married, you are, at least in this one major way, a very traditional person . Getting married is like, LITERALLY, the poster-child of tradition. It would be hard for you to be doing something MORE traditional. If you are uncomfortable supporting marriage, or being viewed as a supporter of this institution, and feel as though you have to couch your decision in phrases like “But the bridesmaids can wear whatever they want!” or “But we’re dancing to Arcade Fire down the aisle!” maybe you should think about why you feel as though you have to justify your decision.

Because seriously, you have a choice: Honey, don’t get married.

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2 Comments

Filed under general ranting, metaphorical US suburbia

2 responses to “Newflash: Marriage is suuuuuuper traditional; deal with it.

  1. So we’re not getting married, then.

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