Whatever you call them, backpacks are squarely meant for either small schoolchildren or juvenile delinquents who need to carry around their graffiti supplies. However, there is an unfortunate third category of backpack wearers: NERDS. And not the cool nerds or the fake nerds, but actual honest nerds who just carry too much stuff (i.e., nerdy books) and are unable to fit their things into a GROWN-UP bag of some sort. Nothing says nerd to me more quickly or accurately than an adult with a BACKPACK. It’s undignified, and if you don’t feel embarrassed for carrying one, then believe me, I feel embarrassed FOR you.
Unfortunately, through NO FAULT OF MY OWN, I ASSURE YOU, I have joined the ranks of the adult backpack wearers. I seriously just have way too much stuff (i.e., nerdy books) to carry to the gym, and then to work, every day to justify not having one. I’m already fairly certain that I have done permanent damage to my right shoulder by not switching to a nerd-bag months (if not years) ago.To add insult to injury, yesterday, this 14-year-old kid asked me, upon seeing my backpack, how old I was and WHAT SCHOOL I WENT TO AND ALSO WHAT GRADE I WAS IN. If he was being sarcastic, then he is very smart to point out that I now give off the impression that I look like a weirdo old lady who still thinks she is in middle school. If he was being sincere (which I DOUBT), then he just confirmed what I already know, which is that adults with backpacks look like bizarro Benjamin Button middle schoolers.