J crew is just fucking with me now

Dear j crew catalogue,

Okay, what the fuck is this now? I honestly feel like you are doing this just to spite me.

NO BRIDESMAID AT SOME ALL-J CREW WEDDING IS GOING TO WEAR HER HAIR LIKE THIS. IT LOOKS RIDICULOUS.

Honest to god, this actually infuriates me.

And the model that had absolutely TERRIBLE hair last time somehow got off even worse this time! I mean, SERIOUSLY??

You can see her scalp!! What is this!?!?!

God, I hate this catalogue.

The Walking Dead vs. The Mist

Did you know that The Mist, a movie based on a novel by Stephen King, was written for the screen and directed by Frank Darabont, the same man who developed the TV show The Walking Dead? And that many people from The Mist are also in The Walking Dead (NOT Thomas Jane and Marcia Gay Harding though)? Watching The Mist now is like watching a very weird prequel to The Walking Dead. All of your old friends are there! Blond woman! Sophie’s mom! Guy with hat! That group of people just have the WORST luck!! Always plagued by something. Mist or zombies.

No, he’s actually just that dumb

Well played, Katharine Q. Seelye:

Hahahaha, you and I both know that he actually thinks that every US state and territory (and by implied extension, every person in those states and territories) must speak English OR ELSE because he is a colossal idiot. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, KATHARINE!

Hahaha WHAT?!

Just to recap, Black Widow’s special power is to shoot a 3-inch pistol at her enemies.

Great power! Very cool. I guess they couldn’t find a pink gun, so they just gave her the smallest gun. Makes sense.

An open letter to the j crew March 2012 catalogue

Dear j crew March 2012 catalogue,

I must formally request that you refrain from treating your readers like morons who don’t realize that j crew clothes are very preppy and very expensive and as such, the ridiculous hair styling presented before us can only be a total joke. No one who wears j crew from head to toe is styling her hair like this.

This isn’t even “she just woke up” hair. This is hair that has been carefully styled to look, I don’t even know, like she’s been wearing a winter hat for days and she’s been really sweating into it?

What is even happening here? What is the look you are going for, catalogue? You are full of the preppiest clothes possible, but you want readers to believe that the same woman who wears preppy, expensive clothes also rubs her scalp in grease and carefully makes her hair look like a giant comb-over before she leaves the house? Stop.

By far though, catalogue, this is the worst offender:

Catalogue, PLEASE. These women are in bridesmaid’s dresses. You mean to tell me that at a wedding where all of the bridesmaids are wearing expensive j crew dresses, they are going to arrive with hair like this? No. That is ridiculous. They look like they just ran a marathon and then pulled on these dresses. No. I will not accept this, catalogue. This doesn’t make any sense. Who are you trying to appeal to? This doesn’t look casual and effortless. It looks like a LOT of effort went into making sure these women had messy, greasy, hat hair. This isn’t 1994. You aren’t selling grunge clothes in a misguided attempt to capitalize on a nostalgic customer base. You sell SPERRY’S, for god’s sake!

Get your act together, catalogue.

Do better, be better: Let this be your motto for your April 2012 catalogue.

 

 

HAHAHAH I should definitely be a top French lawyer

From “Dominique Strauss-Kahn Held in French Prostitution Case” —

HAHAHAHAHA THAT IS YOUR BEST DEFENSE? Cool. Great defense. Definitely not guilty! Bang that gavel, this case is CLOSED!

Remove that clause, Wes Anderson.

Does Wes Anderson have a clause in his contract (TO THE MOVIE-GOING PUBLIC) that states that he will only allow one non-white person into each of his movies?

On that note: Oh BROTHER. Could this trailer BE any more Wes Andersonish?

A: NO. EMPHATICALLY, NO.